Fooooour

I've been a bit pre-occupied lately, I've had a lot on the go. Yesterday I was at City Hall of course, but only for half the day. A few Lobbyists came by and took me out Golfing, that's one of the advantages of being the Mayor, you get lots of little goodies. Today I'm a bit sore, that was the first time I've golfed this year, but don't cry for me, for I am a survivor.

I don't take Golf seriously, but I do have a zero handicap. I like to Golf because it relaxes me, and my zero handicap comes from being so relaxed and at ease. I won't bore you with a bunch of war stories about yesterdays game, but I am going to tell you one story about it.

We were on the 17th hole, par 5, 554 yards. It's a dog leg right with a row of giant Pines between you and the green. The first three of our foursome shoot, all straight down the fairway, not one of them missed. One guy we call "Diego" smacks the ball 280 yards, a beautiful shot, straight as an arrow. So, I get up to the tee, and say "eff this, I'm going over the trees" The gaggle of Lobbyists start to laugh a bit, they make a few stupid comments, but I give them that look that says one more word out of you and you can kiss your strip mall good-bye.

I look out at the trees, the green is out of view, but I have a good idea where to shoot. I stick the ball on the tee, pull the club back, and smash the living shit out of the poor ball. It sails way past the trees over to the other side. I've only heard a few gasps in my lifetime when I've played, but there was an audible *holy shit* resonating throughout the threesome, and the group behind us saw it, and they made a bunch of comments. It was a wicked feeling, I didn't want to smile too much because as I tell my legitimate children, "act like you've won before".

So we jump in our carts, the three Lobbyisys in one and me in the other, and we head for their balls. They take their shots, and then we go looking for my ball. Well, one the ladies from the foursome ahead of us says to me, "looking for your ball? The one that just missed my head by a foot?" Turns out she wasn't pissed, she realized that there was no way I could have yelled four , there was no way I could see where that ball was going. Plus she was pretty amazed at my most manly of shots.

Anyways, I got in on the green in 2 and birdied the hole. To top it off, I beat the Lobbyists like a rented mule, and after we played they took me to the 19th hole and we ate some animal flesh and drank a few buckets of rye a gingers. The best part of the whole day was that they paid for everything, and I will never give them a contract as long as I live.