Why Welfare is Good

Economists squabble over the source of prosperity and wealth in modern economies … well, here is the answer … the Welfare System.

How does the Welfare System create jobs?

Social Workers
Depending on the welfare district one is looking at, there is a ratio between welfare cases and social workers. The more welfare people, the more social workers, and when there are enough social workers, you get to create even more jobs: social worker supervisors, and social worker administration staff. With enough people, you will need a building, which means social worker building maintenance staff. So, you can see that welfare people create jobs.

Do not worry about social workers being over loaded with work, though. Most welfare people accept welfare checks from more than one jurisdiction, so that although our diligent social worker has, say, forty cases in his/her/its active pile, only eight or so are actually in town.

Teachers

Welfare people are consummate users of the education resources. They get subsidized education so that they can acquire job skills. Although, if you think about it, welfare people are the most unlikely to ever obtain, let alone retain, a job. So, they make a bottomless pit into which you can throw teaching resources! This means lots of jobs jobs jobs for teachers! And given that welfare people are the least receptive to teaching, you can generate lots and lots of additional special needs positions for teachers too. More teachers means more teaching supervisors, more teaching administration, and buildings full of maintenance staff. So, you can see that welfare people create wealth here too.

Health Care
Welfare people have the highest rates of chronic and reoccurring illnesses on the continent. And your health care workers spend a disproportionate amount of time dealing with these easily preventable illnesses. Non welfare people do not fill up emergency wards, but welfare people do. This creates demand for nurses, doctors, administration, and building maintenance staff. Our health care workers soon become experts in specialty diseases like gunshot wounds, worms, tuberculosis, and crotch crabs. Unfortunately, the non welfare class people do not get these illnesses and do not create jobs for health care workers. We need more welfare to create jobs.


Telemarketers
Most welfare people gobble up luxury products like the rest of us, and to pay for these items, they actively participate in the diverse and poly-gendered underground cash economy. The majority of our prostitutes, car thieves, and petty drug dealers are drawn from the welfare classes. But by far the largest sector where welfare people create wealth through the sweat of their brow is telemarketing. Most telemarketers are welfare people, just trying to make a few bucks to buy a few smokes, or a bottle of whiskey, or a latex cat suit for their specialty prostitute act. Of course, larger telemarketing operations require management, services, and furniture. More jobs!


Now that Canada has a world class Welfare State, how can we overtake the evil corrupt American economy?
We need a bigger welfare system! How to do it?

More Social Workers
We need to create more social workers. We can do this by adopting an aggressive employment equity program. Effective immediately, the social worker departments will conform to state dictated ethnic and gender blends. The backward credentialist concept of ‘ability’ will be thrown out … if the roster calls for a native-Canadian transvestite, then one will be found and given an office and a paycheck and office furniture and a phone.

This will create jobs because these credentially challenged individuals can then be given money to go to school, which creates jobs for teachers. Double plus good!

More Illegal Immigration

Illegal Immigrants create jobs in our health care, teaching, and telemarketing sectors. In health care, our illegal immigrants bring challenge to workers with new and rare diseases that require the growth of specialists in tropical diseases, intestinal worms, and drug rehabilitation. More specialists means more teachers to train specialists.

Illegal Immigrants create jobs for teaching opportunities in English as a second language, life skills, and anger management. Unfortunately, while we still live under a repressive patriarchal dictatorship, such oppressive and arbitrary white christian norms as ‘do not spit on the floor’, and ‘do not shit in the library’ have to be re-educated out with life skills training. Likewise, honored diverse ways of conflict resolution, such as ‘hack them up with a machete’ or ‘set the cheating wife on fire’ are not cherished by the corrupt evil male only cabal that rules our country with a fist of steel, so the illegal immigrants get to create teaching jobs for anger management specialists. This is sad. The good thing is that the training usually does not work, so that multiple sessions of life skills and anger management are called for, when the judge only sentenced one session. This creates years of work.

There you have it.

Fenris Badwulf wrote this.