The Mayor Has An Announcement

A few weeks ago, right on these very pages, Lisa announced that she has taken on Reg Reginaldson as her deputy mayoral candidate. A few days later, Fenris announced that he was making Sonja DeSade his deputy mayoral candidate. It has been suggested in some circles that I, The Mayor of Mitchieville, should also find someone that can be my deputy mayoral candidate. Well, I've decided to heed that advice.

It brings me tremendous pleasure to announce to you tonight, that effective immediately, Michelle Mayden and Daniela Pestova are the co-Deputy Mayor's of Mitchieville.

I'm sure you will agree with me that they make a spectacular pair. I'm convinced that with a pair like that, Mitchieville is certainly looking up. I'm sure all of you are in awe at the pair I have chosen, and also believe that this might possibly be the greatest pair to ever represent Mitchieville.

The first thing I looked for when selecting this incredible pair, was experience. Believe me when I tell you that this pair brings so much experience to the table, it's actually astounding. What they lack in experience, I intend on teaching them personally. Even if it means that we have to sit in my freezing cold office wearing just halter tops and sitting in our lacy underwear, I promise you that I will fill them with all the experience I have. Over and over, and over and over, and over and over again until they scream, "My God, please stop!" Even then, I intend to keep pushing with all my might, I will pound everything I have deep inside of them.

Will it be hard? Sure, it's going to be very hard. It is going to be so amazingly hard, but I intend to finish what I started. I'm no quitter and either is my new pair. Sometimes it might not be as hard as other times, but eventually it will be hard, and other times it will be so hard I might get a bit of a migraine.

The second consideration I was looking for was diversity, and with this mind-boggling pair, I do believe I have hit a home run. No more *old boys club* in Mitchieville. Adding a jaw-droppingly wonderful pair like I have, brings women to the diversity table of Mitchieville. For added diversity I have chosen a blond and a dirty blond. That speaks volumes.

The third consideration I had when choosing deputy mayoral candidates, was transparency. I did not want my candidates mired in cloudiness. That is why, I promise you folks, that everything this phenomenal pair has to offer is right in front of your eyes. I want you to understand that the emperor has no clothes. The emperor is butt naked. I told Michelle and Daniela that in order for them to be deputy Mayor's, they must expose themselves to you. I know for this to work that you will want to see them exposed, and they are more than willing to let you see them that way.

What does this mean for you, the citizens of the great City of Mitchieville? It means better government. It means more diversity. But most importantly, it means that Michelle and Daniela are going to expose themselves to you.

Vote The Mayor--I Care