Stick A Fork In Her, Madonna Is Done

Although Madonna looked like she saw, well, herself in a mirror, her publicist says that she is not sick, and that this photograph in question was just a bad picture:

The pop star "may look a little thinner than usual," Rosenberg conceded, "but she was dancing and singing better than ever and ate a nice healthy meal."

I'm more concerned with the walking unibrow that has attached itself to Madonna's tentacles. She's obviously sucking whatever life-force Madonna has left in her tattered and abused body. On the bright side, it's nice to hear a story that doesn't involve Madonna doing the sucking.

Rimshot