Onward, Happy Workers!
This week, Happy Workers, what could be more motivating than the good news about someone else?
Remember!? this directive from last bulletin:
Comrade Thurston Howell the Third, Supreme Director of the Turpentine Commission is to be saluted when he drives past you in his large limousine when he arrives for an inspection on behalf of the steering committee of the Turpentine, Bran, and Bran Bi-products Directorate. Remember to cheer and wave happily, happy workers.
The five suburb burroughs of the Less than Greater Toronto municipium were graded in matters of enthusaism, collective spirit, and loyal appearance.
One factory is to be commended here, Comrades. The Fenris Badwulf Graduate School of Telemarketing Excellence excelled at patriotic displays of worker loyalty. Never once did the staff, students, and serfs, have foreknowledge of the impending arrival of Comrade Thurston Howell the Third, Supreme Director of the Turpentine Commission. All workers, from the factory floor to the accounting bunker, joyfully lept from their tasks, and swarmed to the loading dock, where they broke into the heroic songs of our local militia regiments. They had prepared banners, slogans, and a green dragon kite.
Comrade Thurston Howell the Third, Supreme Director of the Turpentine Commission was moved to tears of caring at the sight of this patriotic display of support for all of the unknown principles of Reptilio-Collectivism! Every day, at lunch time, the same songs and happy shouts of the happy workers greeted the director as he was driven by on his way to luncheon at the Staff liquor licensed lounge. Impressive.
Film night tonight will feature a short film documentary entitled, Workers greet worker-Chieftain with enthusiasm!
As a positive reward for their behaviour, an extra ration of 1000 grams of food biscuits for two week work cycles, is given. Food biscuits can be shared with your Dog-Canadian house partners. No longer do these worker comrades have to purchase mandated coffee break consumer goods with their Class B privilege tokens! This is good news!
To assist you if you should make a personal struggle against the imperialist chains of oppressive work place work practices, here is a song you can sing as you face bayonet, axe, hammer, spear, halberd, pike, and claymore:
Every morning, enjoy two bran muffins
Enjoy your Victory Coffee * .
(chorus) Make everyone else eat two muffins, too.
Not One, not Three, but Two!
Hurrah for the Struggle for Increased Production!
Our Jackboots stomp on fingers and shoes
Warm coffee and donuts covered with sugar goo
We can smoke tobacco at work, fuck youse
We drink beer between dials, on Fenris’ crew
(the fourth verse (the ‘we can smoke tobacco at work’ verse) can be omitted when parading before a Comrade of Committee Rank below the Sub-Plenium)
You are lucky to have been given your assigned work task and cubicle resources chit by the Works Desk Department. Meet you assigned work quotas at break, lunch, and unlock.
Everyone gets Class D privilege tokens, good for a packet of dehydrated Victory Coffee, sugar drink crystals, or two packets of room temperature mayonnaise. Mmmmm.
Onward, Happy Workers!
xtp DustMyBroom *
Remember!? this directive from last bulletin:
Comrade Thurston Howell the Third, Supreme Director of the Turpentine Commission is to be saluted when he drives past you in his large limousine when he arrives for an inspection on behalf of the steering committee of the Turpentine, Bran, and Bran Bi-products Directorate. Remember to cheer and wave happily, happy workers.
The five suburb burroughs of the Less than Greater Toronto municipium were graded in matters of enthusaism, collective spirit, and loyal appearance.
One factory is to be commended here, Comrades. The Fenris Badwulf Graduate School of Telemarketing Excellence excelled at patriotic displays of worker loyalty. Never once did the staff, students, and serfs, have foreknowledge of the impending arrival of Comrade Thurston Howell the Third, Supreme Director of the Turpentine Commission. All workers, from the factory floor to the accounting bunker, joyfully lept from their tasks, and swarmed to the loading dock, where they broke into the heroic songs of our local militia regiments. They had prepared banners, slogans, and a green dragon kite.
Comrade Thurston Howell the Third, Supreme Director of the Turpentine Commission was moved to tears of caring at the sight of this patriotic display of support for all of the unknown principles of Reptilio-Collectivism! Every day, at lunch time, the same songs and happy shouts of the happy workers greeted the director as he was driven by on his way to luncheon at the Staff liquor licensed lounge. Impressive.
Film night tonight will feature a short film documentary entitled, Workers greet worker-Chieftain with enthusiasm!
As a positive reward for their behaviour, an extra ration of 1000 grams of food biscuits for two week work cycles, is given. Food biscuits can be shared with your Dog-Canadian house partners. No longer do these worker comrades have to purchase mandated coffee break consumer goods with their Class B privilege tokens! This is good news!
To assist you if you should make a personal struggle against the imperialist chains of oppressive work place work practices, here is a song you can sing as you face bayonet, axe, hammer, spear, halberd, pike, and claymore:
Every morning, enjoy two bran muffins
Enjoy your Victory Coffee * .
(chorus) Make everyone else eat two muffins, too.
Not One, not Three, but Two!
Hurrah for the Struggle for Increased Production!
Our Jackboots stomp on fingers and shoes
Warm coffee and donuts covered with sugar goo
We can smoke tobacco at work, fuck youse
We drink beer between dials, on Fenris’ crew
(the fourth verse (the ‘we can smoke tobacco at work’ verse) can be omitted when parading before a Comrade of Committee Rank below the Sub-Plenium)
You are lucky to have been given your assigned work task and cubicle resources chit by the Works Desk Department. Meet you assigned work quotas at break, lunch, and unlock.
Everyone gets Class D privilege tokens, good for a packet of dehydrated Victory Coffee, sugar drink crystals, or two packets of room temperature mayonnaise. Mmmmm.
Onward, Happy Workers!
xtp DustMyBroom *
posted by Fenris Badwulf at 1:46 AM
Submit this post to ... StumbleUpon | Digg | del.icio.us
<< Home