The Mayor's Christmas Message

On behalf of the entire Mitchieville Cabinet, Fenris, Reg and myself, we would like to wish everyone a Happy and Merry Christmas, combined with the happiest of New Years. For everyone else that is celebrating non-Christmas events, we would like to wish you a merry whatever it is you're celebrating, and a happy New Year (unless celebration and happiness is against the very basic tenets of your ideology, then we apologize profusely and take everything back).

I love Christmas so much, it is the best time of the year. Compared to Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter are nothing more than Christmas' bitch, the forgotten step-child.

Christmas is a time of giving and a time for celebration. This Christmas I call upon each and every one of you to receive/take as much as you can from as many people as you can. If someone is giving, take it. It doesn't matter what they're giving, it doesn't matter if you need it, it doesn't even matter if you want it, just take the damn thing and be done with it.

As far as celebrating is concerned, this is only one of the few times of the year when you can get loaded and not have to spend a red cent. All your friends and family have stocked up on Christmas booze, now is the time to stop by each and every family member and revel in the glad tidings that permeate the season. And, don't be afraid to be the only one pigging out on the shrimp ring, they're relatively inexpensive and will go bad if someone doesn't eat them. Indulge yourself with booze and shrimp, God would want it that way.

So, that's it for another Christmas...oh, I forgot one thing: Now is the best time of the year to see if your cousins girlfriend really does have a special place in her heart for you. Take advantage of the festive season and grab her ass, how else are you going to know if she's down with you (wink wink nudge nudge)? If she turns you down, blame the booze and the lack of oxygen to your brain. No biggie. Besides, your cousin is a royal prick and has it coming. Seriously, the guy's a goof.

Love,

The Mayor and Company