I am poor.

I am too poor to afford the nice things the ruling elites have.

So, I cannot afford the six kilograms of plutonium it takes to get respect. I am too poor for plutonium. So, instead, I got six kilograms of magnesium.

I found some old batteries from a 1950's steam boiler. Ever-ready Magnesium batteries. A stained thick cardboard tube with a kilo of magnesium in each tube. I have six tubes.

Using crashed UFO technology, and some electronic components, and a visit to Radio Shack, I made six Hunting Handgrenades. These are common weapons in the Third World War of 2022 to 2122 (also known as the Second Hundred Years War). The have a Pentium chip. They use magnetic fields to levitate and then track and follow a target. I have programmed my six sneaky weapons to attack Pontiacs driven by people who support the Montreal Canadiens Hockey club within a four kilometer distance of Guelph. That, or people implicated with the decisonmaking process that lead to the selection of that Gallagher creature to host the midnight to morning slot at Classical Radio, 96.3 FM. They must suffer.

They are really not that dangerous. They do not need to be registered. I have not bought them from a company that has a big legal firm in Toronto, on Bay Street, under retainer. The 'explosion' will, rarely but more usually, just blow off one of the two brake lines, and maybe blow a tire or two off the rim. There is a fire, of course. The brake fluid burns with a choking fire that smells like dog shit on the bar-b-que. The driver gets his pants burnt off, unless he can react fast. Unless the gas tank is less than one quarter full. Then the gas tank has a fume detonation event. But that happens only when the gas tank is less than one quarter full. And most cars now a days, well, the air bag will act like Saran Wrap and, as it has melted from the flames, anneal itself to the biological remains of the driver, and preserve up to 72 percent for transplantation. This is good for our Health Care System. So, there is only a 28 percent loss of life, sometimes at worst, which is not really that much, considering that there are between three and seven people who get the spare parts they need, quickly, and on a holiday weekend, too. Think about that: all the people helped.

Anyway, a few flying brake drums may cause some collateral damage. Equivalent to a direct hit from a twelve-pounder solid shot. Ah, the whiff of grapeshot! Actually, more like the Seventh Battle of Ypres, because a battery rupture releases a lethal cloud of chlorine gas, mixed with Phosgene. The Magnesium acts like a catalyst for this reaction. The burning Magnesium (at 5000 degrees Fahrenheit), also creates a family of alkali dusts and grits, which could be considered 'irritants', in that they dissolve skin on contact. In close proximity to concrete, it creates a fluffy Asbestos ash, which hovers at lung level for up to six hours. But that only happens if there is a car nearby, and that does not happen, unless the car is on a road. The emergency response team of ambulance, fire, and police will not get the same exposure as, say, the neighbouring villages.

My feelings are hurt because I have not been accomodated. I am acting out my anger at past injustice. It is really your fault. Give me your money. I am too poor for plutonium.

In the absence of Red Tory calling me a dunderhead, this is what happens!

Six have been released. Each one I have named after one of the Nazgul. When? and Who? and will You be too close to the blast radius?

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

Gee, what mischief can I get up to this weekend?