Look What The Cat Dragged In

I now see why Madonna named her child Lourdes, cuz every time I see this kid I say, "Lourdes almighty, that's one hairy beast".

You would think that Madonna would take $1.99 out of her $700 billion that she has stowed away and buy a pair of tweezers for this poor Sasquatch. The last time I saw something that hairy, I was drinking wine on it in front of a fireplace up north. I know that as a parent you don't want your child shaving and tweezing at such an early age, but there are some circumstances (this one, for instance) when it's necessary. Maybe the child doesn't want to tweeze and shave, fair enough. However, it's still your responsibility as a parent to go into the kids room in the middle of the night and shave your child. Or weedwack it. Or mow it. Or beat it with a shovel. Either way, don't let that thing outside, it's scaring the other kids.