The Top Five Roadkill Positions Of All Time

#5-The Rockin' Riga mortis: This is actually the most popular roadkill pose in South America, New Orleans, and Parliament Hill in Ottawa, Ontario. Basically, any place where rats and vermin congregate. By far, this the sexiest roadkill pose out of the 5 listed. Although we call this the Rockin' Riga mortis, it also goes by other names such as the "Do me, do me" and the "Pavement Zombie".


#4-The Mecca Facer: So far, there isn't any scientific evidence why these types of roadkill face Mecca when they die, but Animal Spiritologists believe that a heavenly presence turns their sweet little heads and faces them towards Mecca when they bite the dust. It is hard to say if these animals are Islamic roadkill, but they sure look it.


#3-The Sleeping Beauty: It's as if the 70's are back again. The Sleeping Beauty was very popular back in the early 70's, but modern variations of this type of roadkill position, such as the "Sideways Twist" and the "You can't Outrun an SUV" put the Sleeping Beauty on the backburner for years. However, it has returned, and returned with a vengeance. Note: Extra points are given to this animal as it tried to shade its eyes with its claws while being pummeled by a Durango.


#2-The Belly Scratcher: Always a popular roadkill position with the kiddies, The Belly Scratcher got its fame in the 1950's, as 1/3 of every roadkill peeled off the pavement was sporting this position. Looking straight ahead and with its broken neck up, this position signifies not only beauty, but a tough-minded attitude the roadkill have right to the very end. I'm welling up, this is too beautiful for words.


#1-Full Splits With a Side of Fries: Other than the word *Bravo*, there is not much more to say about the most popular roadkill pose. With its back legs fully extended, both front arms stretched to the right side and the head tilted slightly with teeth exposed, this is a timeless roadkill pose. Tried, tested and true, this is a real beauty. It takes a warrior, a champion, and an animal that is agile and fully committed to meet its maker to strike such an incredible pose as it is being flattened by rubber and or metal. My hat goes off to any animal that can perform the Full Splits With a Side of Fries.