5 Simple Ways To Help The Environment

I know a few of these simple ways to help the environment must have been discussed at one time or another, but it never hurts to hear them again. If you have heard them before, your next step is to put them into practise. The best thing about this list is that is won't cost you a dime, it might even save you a few cents and now you can be classified as a *Friend of the Earth*. And that's a lot better than your old title of Earth Rapist.

No, keep your bag, donut shop lady: One of the best things about mornings are coffee and bagels. Without them there is a good possibility we would die, or worse, go on a killing spree at work. Most of the time when you order a bagel, you're going to take it out of the bag they give you and eat it right in the car. Putting aside the fact that it's kind of disgusting to eat in your car, why the hell do you need a bag for your bagel when you're pulling it out and eating it on the spot? Right, you don't need a bag. Cha ching for the environment.

I have a handy dandy plastic cup: Therefore, I don't need your cardboard/Styrofoam cup. Some places will even give you a nickle off your coffee/tea if you bring in your own cup. I know some caffeine lunatics that drink 4-5 cups a day from Starbucks and get a new cup every time they go. For the love of Gaea, invest the $1.29 for a cup and make Gaea smile.

Thanks, but I really don't need 23 salt packets: It's hard not to believe that teenagers don't have a large portion of their wealth invested in salt companies. It's hard to explain why they give you so many salt and pepper packets at fast food restaurants..or for that matter, napkins. When you go drive through, tell the little zit-faced freak that you want exactly one salt, two peppers and 1 napkin. Most kids can actually count to five, so the chances of receiving exactly what you want are high. Unfortunately, you'll still get a fillet o' fish when you ask for a Big Mac.

Paraguayan corn? Pound sand, I buy locally: You have probably heard this one before, but buying your produce locally is beneficial on a few counts. Firstly, it helps the local economy, that's a fact. Secondly, if you buy your produce locally, you're not buying from places where it is shipped hundreds/thousands/billions of miles to you, therefore, it cuts down on transportation dramatically lowering your once giant Bigfoot carbon footprint to that of a baby carbon footprint. Hooray, environment, boo Paraguayan corn.

Another Coffee Shop Environment tip? Are you Crazy? Yes, crazy like a Megan Fox, you nature-saving bastard. Do you know those crappy trays they give you when you order more than 2 coffees? Sure you do. Save one or two of them and bring them the next time you go to the coffee shop. You can't return them, the coffee joints won't accept them. However, you can always bring your own for them to fill, they won't turn you down. Honestly, at City Hall, I go into the cafe sometimes and I see 10-15 of those trays stacked. There is no need for that, it makes The Mayor weep. And you don't want to see The Mayor weep, do you?

So there you have it, 5 ideas who's time has come. It costs you nothing, it saves you a few shekels, and it makes the earth smile with it's giant toothless grin. We love you momma earth, we're sorry for being such dickheads to you. Now come over here and give me a big hug!