Australian Woman Humped To Death By Horny Camel

An Australian woman was killed by a pet camel given to her as a 60th birthday present after the animal apparently tried to have sex, police said Sunday:

The 10-month-old male camel — weighing about 330 pounds — knocked the woman to the ground, lay on top of her, then exhibited what police suspect was mating behavior, Gregory said.

"I'd say it's probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing," Gregory said, adding the camel almost suffocated the family's pet goat by straddling it on several occasions.

The woman was given the camel in March as a birthday present from her husband and daughter. "She had a love of exotic pets," Gregory said.

And it's obvious that exotic pets love this woman, too.

What have we learned from this? A few things really. Firstly, Camels love asphyxiation sex as much as humans do. Secondly, Australian's give really shitty birthday gifts. And finally, camels are attracted to camel toe. Meaning, if you give a camel to your girlfriend/wife as a present, have a look at her curtains first. If you see more meat hanging betwixt her thighs than that at Dominion deli, it might be best to give her a necklace instead of a camel. Women love wearing necklaces, but as for wearing camels?

Not so much