It May Already Be Too Late…

Global warming and Jane Goodall have conspired to doom mankind. Homo Sapiens ancient enemy has evolved. There is no escape. We must act now.

Chimpanzees have learned how to use spears . Chimps will form alliances with Apes and teach them to use spears. Apes will form alliances with Orangutans and teach them how to use spears. Orangutans will form an alliance with the Lemurs. Have you seen a Lemur leap? Now imagine them with spears in their hands. Mitchieville, nay mankind, is in danger.

We Can’t Wait. As the planet warms these marauding primates will migrate, it is only a matter of time before they reach our continent. We must act now. I am asking that the Mayor assemble his cabinet and give me, Suvorov, the authority to exterminate the primates before they organize themselves. With a mass MOAB strike we can exterminate these blood thirsty mammals before they exterminate us. Don’t fool yourselves; given the chance they’ll kill us all. Send the Mayor your money, he will know what to do.


Posted by Suvorov, who isn’t afraid of those damn filthy apes