Global Warming Warning

It is a sad day for Canada's most vulnerable village peoples. Another day without snow. Here in the city of light that is Toronto, there is no snow. In the other, less important areas of Canada, like Saskatechewan and Manitoba, winter is not to be found.

Global Warming is here. Nobody except heteronormative racists could disagree. Just look out your window: there is no snow in Canada. People are asking themselves,'Will I ever see snow again, even a single fluffy snowflake?' This was all predicted by Global Warming Science. This validates everything that Global Warming Activists have been saying. What they say is true.

From my window I can see starving homeless people shuffle along the sidewalk. They are going to die of famine or heat prostration. There are inadequate supplies of everything for the homeless: no food, no shelter, no one cares. They wear t-shirts to keep cool, they wear their pants down around their crotch and stuff bandanas in their back pocket because of inadequate social spending. Without massive increases in welfare, high school budgets, and social skills tutoring for remanded felons, thousands in Toronto will die of Global Warming. Their emaciated bodies will be found, bloating in the heat, surrounded by flies, in a puddle of their own steaming sweat. This will happen in February.

When a telemarketer calls you today, put down your dinner fork and answer the phone. Say yes to No Global Warming. Take out your credit cards and share your spare money with Global Warming Activists. Help fund fundraising for our planet. If you hear the phone ring when you sitting on the toilet, abandon your worldly cares and rush to answer the call. You only need to look out your window and see that Global Warming is with us right now, right where you live.

My keyboard is wet with tears. I am outraged for the downtrodden. Disadvantaged children will never see snow, and single mothers will never have enough to eat. Support the dollar a liter Global Warming gasoline tax. After all, what is a dollar? Let us stop Global Warming right now. Answer the phone and give me your money.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

crossposted at dustmybroom, so you should give twice