Marcia Cross is Angry--Cross-like

Marcia Cross, one of the lesser known *stars* of Desperate Housewives, is demanding the return of some revealing photo's found by an employee of a company hired to haul garbage from Cross's home:

Lawyers for the actress and her husband, Tom Mahoney, are demanding their return, arguing that no matter where the pictures were found, they're the couple's property, and protected by copyright laws to boot.

The couple also says the pictures were thrown out by mistake.

Marcia Cross would be wise to let these photos surface. She obviously isn't the pick of the litter, and she has seen better days, maybe a few naked pics might do her career some good. It might also instill some confidence in her.

I think that Marcia Cross might have a real kick-ass body. Have a good look at her again. Now, don't look at her face, completely ignore her face, just like God did when he made her. See, doesn't it look like she might be stacked quite nicely? I think so too. I'll go as far to say that out of all the Desperate Housewives, she might have the best body among them. Let's go down the list...

Eva Longoria--She has a penis, that has been proven time and time again. She is also one of the hairiest beasts alive, that too has been proven time and time again. I'm quite sure that when Eva Longoria removes her underwear and lays down, it looks as though she is giving birth to a black bear cub. And that, my friends, is icky and sickening.

Teri Hatcher--Looks like a cross between my Uncle Eddie and my Aunt Girtude. The thing is though, my Uncle Eddie had a sex change 12 years ago to make her a him, and my Aunt Girtude had a sex change at the same time to make him a her, so that makes Teri Hatcher an it. So, if you fantasize about Teri Hather, chances are, if you're a guy, you're queer, and if you are a woman ,you are also queer (but enjoy the bull-dyke look...which means you're ugly)

Felicity Huffman--Has a face like a tackling dummy for the New England Patriots. She's taken more shots to the face than a blind, coked-up bukkake model for B porn. She looks like a wrinkled up old newspaper that your dog pissed on then chewed, then swallowed, then puked up, then ate again. At the best of times, Felicity Huffman looks like a victim of a tsunami. She is a poor excuse for a woman, and a poorer excuse for a human.

Nicollette Sheridan--In her prime, I lost more man yogurt due to Nicollette Sheridan than just about any Hollyweirdo tramp. Now I look at her and feel embarrassed and dirty for what I did, and I would give anything to turn back the hands of time and shove that man yogurt back inside me. Blonde women have trouble growing old gracefully, Nicollette Sheridan is their poster child.

I'm sure there are a few more Desperate Hags that I missed, but I only have so many hours in the day to criticize and ridicule, so we must stop here.

My point has been this: Although Marcia Cross looks like she crawled 70 miles on her hands and knees to get to a closed burn ward, she still has a pretty good body for a woman that's over 300 years old. Although, having sex with red-headed women is the equivalent to fantasizing about throwing your love muscle into Ronald McDonald. So, in essence, you're gay, get over it. At least that's what they taught us in University. Or it might have been Drivers Ed., whatever, I'm still going to sleep well tonight.

Desperate little naked housewife