Aaron Carter is a Little Bitch

A while ago I posted a piece called *The Mayor envies Aaron Carter*, and in that piece I praised Aaron Carter for proposing marriage to this delicious specimen shown in the picture, Kari Ann Peniche. Since then (about 9 days), the marriage has been called off. At the time of writing my award-winning piece, I stated that I wasn't going to rip into Aaron Carter because I was too much in awe of his magical touch. Well, that changes today:

Pop star Aaron Carter wants his ex-fiancée Kari Ann Peniche to hand back $10,000 earrings he bought her during their nine-day engagement.

Carter tells gossip site PageSix.com, "It was just a big mess. She was pretty upset, but I just realized I made a mistake. I bought her earrings for $10,000. And I need to get 'em, back. I need to get 'em back!"

While most men would gladly sell their own mother into slavery for the chance of smelling Kari Ann's breath after a night of her eating garlic and drinking Chlorox, Aaron Carter is bitching about earrings. That my friends, is not right.

If Aaron Carter was in a drunken state, and he mistakenly proposed to a bucked-tooth, hunchbacked, hairy lawn gnome of a woman, then yes, I could see wanting the earrings back. But Kari Ann isn't like that, she's an incredible, delicious, extraordinary chunk of hot flesh that most men would gladly chop off their index finger with a bandsaw just for the off-chance she might spit Hep C in their face.

That's the problem with today's youth, they're stupid as hell. $10,000 to Aaron Carter is the equivalent of 32 cents to any of us. That's like any of us banging a super-model, and after it's over demanding the Cracker Jack decoder ring we gave her back.

Aaron needs to forget about the earrings and start devising devious plans to get Keri Ann to drink more roofie Colada's.

Not a ring of truth