Sound the War Gong, Canada!

Your country is in peril.

Our way of life is under attack.

Without taxes upon Large Corporations, you would be without gas this weekend, or fresh milk for the tots. Large Corporations are your friend.

We must help our friends in this time of crisis. Let us shoulder the simple burden of taxation with our friend, The Large Corporation Association.

With taxes, a strong war economy! Lots of battleships, muskets, and war zeppelins for our Canadian War Machine. Few will oppose us unsuccessfully. Heavy Land Dreadnaughts will command the Highways and Thoroughfares. Native Land Claims will be obliterated by synchronized attacks from archers and mail coated horsemen armed with spears and swords.

Accept the smoke of burning airships with your morning Tim Horton coffee and donut. Let cougar women feast upon the sexual delights of fresh trained eighteen year old soldiers. Say 'Welcome' to the business opportunities of total war. Make a service contract offer with The War God.

Soon, you will have a comfortable air raid shelter. The government will give you a coffee machine, and donuts after each large city wide attack. It will have running water, electricity for your computer and air conditioner, and recycled air out of the deepest sewers. What a deal! You will be as safe as a mushroom. You will be the man with the car and the hot chick when the lights go out and city evacuates during the attacks from the city melting machine from beyond Pluto.

Sound the War Timpani! Honk the Clarinets! Pummel the Tamobrine Ensemble! Let the fearsome roar of our Castanetes sound across the land as our invincible squares of pikemen and dashing halberdiers move to subjugate new territories for our mutual economic benefit. Hurrah for Monopoly Capitalism!

Yes, This Country is assembling a pre-emptive planning sub-committee (ex folio ut nil captum barbarorum) for the aggressive reconnaissence of the least outer and greatest inner parameters of the projected problem exploration grouping. Our Enemies are Doomed!

With our surging taxes comes our surging armed might. No one will be able to dispute our monopoly capitalist Large Corporations in matters of tort, lien, or escheat. It makes me laugh, the magnitude of our victory! I am drunk with conquest and victory! Ha Ha ha!

Head to the streets and pound your hiking boots together. Pound on car hoods. Take out your accordions. Sound the War Gong! The march of industry is good for your wallet!

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.

cross posted at Dust My Broom, a good place to hunt, fish, and camp.