Arrrr!!! A Pirate's Life For Keith Richards?

Keith Richards may play a pirate in the upcoming Pirates of the Caribbean 3 Movie.

Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is lined up to play the swashbuckling father of a pirate in the third installment of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series, star Johnny Depp said Tuesday.

Well, it is no stretch of the imagination to picture Keith Richards as a pirate, in fact they won't have to change his appearance at all, to hell with sending him to make-up, just throw on an eye-patch and he'll be frightening small children with the best of them.

His face looks like an apple doll, all wrinkled and leathery, so he already has the weathered look of a man who has spent years at sea. He also looks like he has scurvy from lack of vitamin C, he probably does have scurvy, maybe that is why they cast him. He has mastered speaking like he's a few bricks short of a load and he will have no problem "pretending" he's drunk and stoned out of his gourd, throw a few "Arr"'s in there with his incoherent prattle and he will be perfect. Finally I think it best not to get into the pillaging of young...very young women, and we already know about the only kind of "booty" he chases, have I mentioned the young women?

The biggest obstacle I see is making sure he doesn't snap the parrot's neck and cook it up for a snack when he next gets the "munchies".

Aye, Captain Richards

Reported by Secret Agent Nikita