Paris and Paris split----more disease for everyone

My heart is breaking with the news that Paris and Paris are no more.

"I'm sad to announce that I've called off my engagement. Over the last couple months I've realized that this is the right decision for me. We remain best of friends, and I'll always love him," she said. "I hope people will respect my privacy during this emotional time."

I don't understand this, they seemed so in love. As a matter of fact she even told me that she loved him just the other day, right after my five buddies and I banged her in the washroom of the Taco Bell.

Don't worry about me, I know I didn't catch anything from her. To make sure I was protected, I wore three condoms, then wrapped my penis in a Glad garbage bag and strapped in down with duct tape. I also wore a snowmobile suit with just the groin part cut out, and a Mexican wrestling mask in case she tried to kiss me. Although today I did wake up with a small cold sore on my bottom lip.