Seal activists are fuming, and I'm eating a ham sandwich

Seal activists are back in the news again. This time they're really really really super dooper totally way upset. You can find out how tormented they are at the heteronomative animal killing oppressive white males by checking out this article .

As a courtesy to you, my wonderful, compassionate readers, I will attempt to translate this next article. Although it is in English, it is in *new* English, PC English.

"What we saw was absolutely horrific," Aldworth told a news conference.

Translated: What we saw was hunters doing their job, but we don't like it, seals are cute and cuddly.

"It's something that no compassionate Canadian could ever accept if they could see it for themselves."

Translated: If you don't agree with us, you're the type of person who would give head to Adolph Hitler, you have no soul.

Aldworth accused hunters of throwing seals into stockpiles and leaving them to "suffocate in their own blood," of stabbing them with metal spikes and dragging the animals across the ice while they continued to struggle.

Translated: The seals have to be put somewhere after they are killed, but if we don't give you a mental picture of something resembling the holocaust, then you won't support us and give us money so we can continue to harass, bitch, and whine.

The footage also depicts sealers wielding clubs and skinning knives as they force the licensed hunt observers to retreat to their helicopter.

Translated: *wielding clubs*, *skinning knives*, although these are the tools of the hunter, can't you see that the hunters are hell bent on destruction of all that is Mother Earth? The hunters got mad, we retreated like the French.

"Most of the seals are dying inhumanely," Richardson said.

Translated: We take Visa, MasterCard, and American Express.

When I went downtown a few days ago I was standing beside a girl that had a shirt on that said "club sandwiches, not seals"(it was cute), so I said to her "can't we do both?"

Enviro-whacko's have no sense of humour.