Banning the Thong---It's the end of the world

According to this article that has been published in the Daily Mail today, thongs seem to be a health hazard. Symptoms of thong use include irritations, soreness and infection, not mentioned in the article were accidents caused by puddles of drool that men leave after seeing a delicious woman wearing one.

What is the solution to this thong problem? Simple, ban the hell out of them.

Women are being warned that the skimpy lingerie can cause irritation and soreness, increasing the risk of infections.

Dr Thomas Gent, a gynaecologist, has gone as far as calling for thongs to be banned because of the potential risk to wearers.

Can you imagine banning a thong because they cause soreness, how pitiful. That's the Europia way though, never mind freedom of choice, if banning thongs can save just one woman from having their sweet package irritated, then this ban must be worth it.

But Dr Gent said: "G-strings can abrade and injure the sensitive skin around the genital area, especially if they are too tight or made with badly stitched material."

You know what can really cause irritation and soreness around a woman's genital area? Me. You better ban me fast before I cause more damage. I'm laughing in my head as I type this.

He advises patients to return to more traditional, bigger knickers.

Certainly, why not wrap a table cloth around you, or a potato sack...is that big enough? Of course you'll want to remove the potatoes first as they can cause soreness and irritation.

What a crock. I propose we find this doctor and cut him a new one...oh right, knives will be banned soon in Europia to, oh well, maybe we can give him a sound verbal thrashing. Or have they banned speaking in Europia yet? Speaking can, after all, cause soreness and irritation in your throat.