Show me these innocents

I went out into the rain. It was a light rain when I went onto the subway. It was pouring with rain when I got off, downtown. I looked around at the people walking into the rain.

I looked at a cabbie. He is no innocent. He is collecting welfare in Edmonton as one person, and in Toronto as another. He cheats his fares, and he cheats his employers. He is not innocent.

I looked at two lovers walking home in the rain. They are boyfriend and girlfriend; they are going to university, it is their first year. They both have girlfriend and boyfriend back home. I guess someone will get the dear john letter in the mail, or e-mail, or at Christmas break. Two broken hearts to add to the collection of the Angel of death. Neither is innocent.

I saw a fat guy stand in the driving rain for a sausage. The fat in the sausage is killing him, and he knows better. He wears a shirt with a mass murderer on it. He should know better. He is not innocent.

I watched a hooker with her pimp. She likes his big penis. He likes having Canadian citizenship. Her mom and dad are heartbroken. He does not even know the names of his three children that live in three countries with three different mothers. Neither he nor she are innocent.

So much for the random lost souls walking in the rain. What about those casual acquaintances you meet at work, or shopping, or in school? You meet these troubled souls. One has anxiety, so you give them a smoke. One is ashamed, and you give them pride. One is sick, and you give them chicken soup. One hides, and you give them a place to gather strength. One does not know what to do, and you give them advice. One is lazy, and you give them a cup of coffee. At first inspection, these people are innocent, because of their suffering. You pick them up, and take your blessing, and brush the dirt off them.

But, after a while, you find that if this one has anxiety, and you give them a smoke, they become lazy. And this one has shame, and you give them pride, they become sick. And that one does not know what to do, and you give them advice, and then they hide. And after a few random walks around this crazy ring, you realize that they will never find the center, never aspire to innocence, because they are too busy bouncing sideways from anxiety, to lazy, to sick, to ashamed, to hiding, to not know what to do. Following the movements of a hypnotists pendulum would be easier. Are these people innocent? No. No, they are just better at not trying. They move sideways, sometimes faster, sometimes slower, but never upwards. Your toes become sore from being stepped on. You run short of smokes, and coffee, and do not have time to do your own laundry. So much for these sideways people. They are not innocent.

So, where are these innocents? I know a few, but they do not walk in the rain. They never walk in darkness. They struggle, they suffer, they are blessed, but their motion is upwards, not sideways. You can judge their heart from their motion, and not be fooled by their state.

And having this proof, I can walk in darkness towards the light. I can walk upwards towards those innocents that I know, knowing that those I leave behind, remain circling sideways in darkness.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this

xpd Mitchieville, DustMyBroom, Stormy Days of March