Come Get Your Free Crap

Everyone and their idiot cousin Rickey loves free stuff. People love free stuff so much that they will stand in line for two hours for a free ice cream cone. That's time well spent, do the math. Here, let me do it for you: Ice cream cone = $1.49 + 2 hours in line--wow, your time is worth nearly 75 cents an hour.

The free offer that The Mayor is offering today does involve a little bit of work, but the end result is a happier you. Simply fill out this simple and quick form and Pampers will send you a free potty training kit. Sure, the chances of you not being potty trained are probably less than 30%, but I'm sure you know someone that would benefit from such a wonderful gift. A child perhaps. Or your stupid in the head cousin Rickey. Haha, he's such a moron.

Your potty training kit includes: A free sample of Easy Ups Trainers, High-value coupons, Fun stickers & coloring pages, Step-by-step potty training tips, Potty Progress Chart, and a Dora or Diego training trophy.

Your child, or some other child that you are acquainted with, will shit their diaper, or on the floor, with delight at this wonderful, free gift.

And remember--Vote The Mayor, I Care