Hysteria and Telemarketing B

One of the wonderful things about living in the declining age of a free people, is access to knowledge. In telemarketing management, I have found hypnosis and psycho-analytic methods to be double plus useful in creating the Hungry Sales Wolves that now call you round the clock, when you eat, when you sit upon the toilet, and when you make love. Now, combined with New Age mysticism, these methods can be expanded and extended to pretty much any social problem, as you will see …

Case Study J-8208

Zoltan and Zymox are transgendered transvestite entertainers living as partners and working in a drag show troupe that does drag shows by night, and drag shows by day in public schools. Zymox is suffering for anxiety over his/her body image (a 5 foot 2 blonde WASP wench living in a 6 foot 6 baritone Sicilian blubbery body), aggravated by inadequate social spending. Zymox came to the Dojo for help …

(09-11-2008. Part of the hypnotic suggestion, delivered in a soothing monotone by Sonjia DeSade, Wolf Priestess of Hypnosis at the Fenris Badwulf Dojo of Hypno-therapy)

“ … when you feel stressed out, go to your place of tranquility, your sanctuary. Let your protector take control of your body. He will protect you from the cares of the world. Surrender to his control. Let him take over your body. You can relax in your safe place . His name is Seth. Relax and let Seth take control …

(Seth is a troubled soul, seeking to make amends for karmic debt he incurred in his life as a Captain of Infantry in Pemberton’s Army of the Mississippi during the war against Northern aggression. He was a veteran of the Vicksburg campaign, and was murdered during a midnight visit to the Freedmans Bureau in 1868; back shot by a Federal blue belly. He wants to return to the earth and is a seeker of truth. He does not eat dolphins)

(09-13-2008. Part of a recorded telephone conversation from Zoltan, Zymox’s partner)

Zoltan: I am worried! Zymox keeps feeding our precious poodle, Tinkerbell, and keeps saying that ‘we needed more of these at Vicksburg’. What does that mean? Our precious poodle, Tinkerbell has a weight problem, and being constantly fed is making her fatter and fatter!

Sonjia DeSade: This is a normal reaction in people who have been taken over … by a caring protector. Your lover Zoltan is just working through his body image issues. I am an uncertified Hypnotist, and I know what I am talking about. Everything is happening according to my plans. Go buy some onions and some Louisiana hot sauce and a large pot, and this problem with Tinkerbell will go away.

(09-18-2008. Part of a recorded telephone conversation from Zoltan, Zymox’s partner)

Zoltan: I am so happy! Zymox has overcome her agoraphobia, and wants to travel to Buffalo!

Sonjia DeSade: This is good news.

Zoltan: Ever since he found out that the Republicans are ahead in the polls, she keeps mentioning this Quantrill person … who is that? And she is such an activist now, she will stop people on the street and tell them about the evil Republicans!

Sonjia DeSade: This sounds healthy. As people resolve their karmic issues, they ascend to the higher dolphin plane. Zymox has a higher destiny, and is emitting a blue aura … I can see this in my magic mirror that I have in my office.

Zoltan: She constantly sings that song, The Bonnie Blue Flag, although she is whistling Dixie right now.

(09-18-2008. Part of a recorded telephone conversation from Zoltan, Zymox’s partner)

Zoltan: (whispering into cell phone) What is going on? Zoltan has the car loaded up with guns and dynamite.

Sonjia DeSade: No, that cannot be true. Your car is a weapons free zone. I saw the sticker ‘weapons free zone’ on the bumper, myself. They must be stage props. The dynamite smells like marzipan … it must be candy for children.

Zoltan: The customs man at the border was all upset when he saw them.

Sonjia DeSade: This Homeland Security stuff is Bushitler fascism. Did you get past the border guard?

Zoltan: Oh, sure. I had to give him a blow job to let us through.

Sonjia DeSade: Was he cute?

Yes, yes, you too can be helped to rise to the dolphin plane through the efforts of an uncertified Hypnotist with association with the cultists of Set, the Snake God. Whisper your desires to be free and live in the fairy cake world. Protective spirits like Seth are out there to handle your dirty work, like dishes, laundry, and banking. Yes. Bring yourself to Fenris Badwulf and his Dojo of Hypno-therapy. You will be fixed, you will fixed good. Surrender control of your mind to Sonjia DeSade, let her have access to the control panel of your subconscious, to make the wheels turn and the heels click on your march to happiness.

I, Fenris Badwulf, founder of the Fenris Badwulf Dojo of Hypno-therapy, wrote this. Staff astrologer Sargon the Magnificent co-wrote this paper. Sonjia DeSade served us, served us coffee.

xpd Mitchieville, DustMyBroom, Stormy Days of March