Sean Avery Has Been Hospitalized, And I Have New Shoes

Sean Avery was admitted to hospital yesterday after lacerating his spleen during a playoff loss to the Pittsburgh Penguins. I care so little about Sean Avery that instead of commenting on this article, I will tell you about the pair of shoes I bought last weekend in Buffalo:

Avery, whose spleen was not removed and isn't expected to need surgery, likely will be hospitalized for a few days, team spokesman John Rosasco said.

I went to Buffalo with my legitmate children and TLDG last Saturday to basically get away for the day, and to have dinner at Ponderosa. Man, I miss not having a Ponderosa in Mitchieville. We all went to Kohl's to have a boo, and I decided to have a look in the shoe department. What I saw amazed me:

Michael Fagan, spokesman for St. Vincent's Medical Center, said Avery is in "stable" condition.

They had dress shoes on sale, 80% off! And not only that, the shoes that I liked, made in Italy none-the-less, were an additional 50% off the 80% off. So, a pair of shoes that were regularly $150, were only $15. Holy crap on a stick. But would they have my size?

"He walked into the hospital," Rosasco said. "He was never in a life-threatening situation."

Sure enough, they had a size 11 in the style that I love: flat front, jet black, 100% wop leather with cushioned sole. Hell, I would have taken 10 pair had they more of my size, but alas, they didn't:

The 28-year-old will be out for the remainder of the season, the Rangers said, but is expected to make a full recovery.

When we were coming back to Mitchieville, crossing the border, the guard asked me what I had to declare, so I told him of my good fortune. He told me I had scored, and that lady luck was on my side. He sure was right, I was feeling on top of the world.

Unlike Sean Avery, who is nothing more that a busted up goon with a fucked spleen.

Man, I really love these shoes, they are so comfortable