The Old Newer Kids On The Block

The old New Kids on the Block are appearing, or possibly appeared, on The Today Show, to address rumours that they will reunite for a series of concerts.

At an average age of 38, I think it's time for a name change. Perhaps, "Been around the Block" would be more fitting.

By far, the Kids on the Block were the gayest band ever assembled. I don't say that out of any form of jealousy, I say it out of straight, unadulterated hatred. My hatred isn't even so much about them, but rather Maurice Starr, the same prick that assembled those NSYNC rejects. With one giant swoop, Maurice Starr (spit) not only kicked rock 'n roll when it was down, but buried it alive.

Right after the Block Kids, all sorts of shitty boy and girl bands sprouted up like an STD at a dorm party in Haiti (if they had schools). All the bands since have had a few things in common: the performers could all dance, none could play a musical instrument, and lip-syncing was the in thing.

From there, music became a horrible formula that had nothing to do about music, but everything to do about appearances and profit margins. All of a sudden it was more important to look like a model in a Macy's catalogue than it was to have any semblance of musical talent. What a sick joke the 80's were, I wish I could go back in time and put sulfuric acid in Maurice Starr's wine cooler (cuz you know Maurice is a wine cooler type of guy).

Oh, and what's with that Neanderthal on the far right, get that ape a banana for God's sake.

NEXT--Optical Illusions