Appease me, please
My hands are shaking with outrage as I dictate this. I have never been so filled with outrage, even since the Bran shortage caused by Global Warming. My cute house cat, Mister Whiskers, has run away after bolting his breakfast of pan fried in butter speckled trout.
Only this morning, the jackbooted Gestapo of the racist heteronormative Ontario police state viciously sent the manager at the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence a letter asking for a meeting at our earliest convenience to explain why the Telemarketing school was running a drivers education course with an expired license. This is exactly what Hitler, Mussolini, or Mike Harris would have done.
Like most other multi-cultural village people, I struggle to avoid the racist ‘rules’ and ‘laws’ that infest this racist shit hole of a country, making it a place of oppression and downtroddenessness. In my culture, the Wreckers of Devonshire * (which provided inspiration for Robert L. Stevenson for his Utopian Treasure Island), it is customary to revere the sadly departed by not reporting their demise to the taxation authorities. Since 1995 I have been celebrating the life of one of my neighbours by running his driving school, using his credentials.
Unlike other racist, heteronormative and culturally insensitive driving schools, the Borkowski driving school of the arts embraces choice. Our student drivers are taught the correct way of steering with either the left or right knee, leaving the hands free to eat food or use the cell phone. As a way of rebelling against white supremacist driving laws, our student drivers are taught how to reverse against traffic, to pass at speed on the soft shoulder, and how to safely drive slow in the fast lane when cruising for non-straight sex. Advanced courses deal with cheating road side sobriety tests (which violate the no-arrests no-crime policy of all activist agendas), bribery and entrapment of storm trooper police fascists, and effective smuggling of ‘illegal’ narcotics, drugs, and weapons as an aid to violent peaceful protest.
It is time that the Ontario government stop this campaign of fear and intimidation against these peaceful cottage artisans who work for one of my many front and shell companies under the direction of The Collectivist Octopus Corporation. Until such time as the brutal dictator ends this genocide, I shall be dropping off body parts of the hostages that have been taken. Even as I look through Grey’s Anatomy to select which digit, toe, eyeball, or earlobe is to be plucked and sent, postage due, it is the responsibility of those responsible for enforcement of the law to not do their job and bow to emotionally driven arguments. Video of the dismemberments are available on the pay site (press the Snuff button).
It is always your fault. Send me more of your money, and I will not send you any more giblets. Aaaargh.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.
crossposted at DustMyBroom, where beer is celebrated every Friday
Only this morning, the jackbooted Gestapo of the racist heteronormative Ontario police state viciously sent the manager at the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence a letter asking for a meeting at our earliest convenience to explain why the Telemarketing school was running a drivers education course with an expired license. This is exactly what Hitler, Mussolini, or Mike Harris would have done.
Like most other multi-cultural village people, I struggle to avoid the racist ‘rules’ and ‘laws’ that infest this racist shit hole of a country, making it a place of oppression and downtroddenessness. In my culture, the Wreckers of Devonshire * (which provided inspiration for Robert L. Stevenson for his Utopian Treasure Island), it is customary to revere the sadly departed by not reporting their demise to the taxation authorities. Since 1995 I have been celebrating the life of one of my neighbours by running his driving school, using his credentials.
Unlike other racist, heteronormative and culturally insensitive driving schools, the Borkowski driving school of the arts embraces choice. Our student drivers are taught the correct way of steering with either the left or right knee, leaving the hands free to eat food or use the cell phone. As a way of rebelling against white supremacist driving laws, our student drivers are taught how to reverse against traffic, to pass at speed on the soft shoulder, and how to safely drive slow in the fast lane when cruising for non-straight sex. Advanced courses deal with cheating road side sobriety tests (which violate the no-arrests no-crime policy of all activist agendas), bribery and entrapment of storm trooper police fascists, and effective smuggling of ‘illegal’ narcotics, drugs, and weapons as an aid to violent peaceful protest.
It is time that the Ontario government stop this campaign of fear and intimidation against these peaceful cottage artisans who work for one of my many front and shell companies under the direction of The Collectivist Octopus Corporation. Until such time as the brutal dictator ends this genocide, I shall be dropping off body parts of the hostages that have been taken. Even as I look through Grey’s Anatomy to select which digit, toe, eyeball, or earlobe is to be plucked and sent, postage due, it is the responsibility of those responsible for enforcement of the law to not do their job and bow to emotionally driven arguments. Video of the dismemberments are available on the pay site (press the Snuff button).
It is always your fault. Send me more of your money, and I will not send you any more giblets. Aaaargh.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.
crossposted at DustMyBroom, where beer is celebrated every Friday
posted by Fenris Badwulf at 4:02 PM
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