Global Warming Will Cause Violence

According to the Oxford Research Group, the world's richest countries face civil unrest and increased *ecoterrorism* if global warming isn't addressed and fixed quick-smart:

A tide of protest against polluting companies and perceived government inaction and, in extreme cases, the emergence of new forms of ecoterrorism are among scenarios outlined by security think tank the Oxford Research Group.

our research indicates that there is a range of potential threats from civil unrest within the United Kingdom, Canada, the United States – all the Western nations, in fact. We see those threats growing more acute over time, if governments continually fail to protect us from climate change."

That's some pretty terrifying stuff.

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty shaken up over this. I don't care if global warming is a load of shit, I'm willing to change my mind on the whole thing if these ruffians would just mellow out and stop threatening me. God, I'm really scared, I'm seconds away from sobbing. If only there was some way to stop these ecoterrorists and their enablers. Wait, I got it!

This is just crazy enough to work. What if, when we are threatened with violence by these ecoterrorists, we find them, beat the living shit out of them and throw them in jail for 20 years? My God, that just may work. Yes, approach violence with even violenter violence. They blow up a Government building, we find the culprits and kill them and their families. They put a metal spike in a tree that injures a logger, we find the culprit and chop off their legs.

How long would these pampered ecofreaks continue their ways if we simply snuffed every one of them out? I'd give it two weeks. Find them and destroy them? Sure. Draconian? Oui. Welcome to Mitchieville!

Watch the pendulum swing, ecofreaks!