The Long And Whining Rhodes

Air America host, Jon Elliot, has claimed that fellow sphincter Randi Rhodes was mugged while walking her dog Sunday night. He/it then goes on to suggest it may have been the work of....wait for it....wait for it.....wait for it.....the *right wing attack machine*. One problem though, Randi Rhodes wasn't mugged:

Elliot, who said Rhodes lost several teeth in the attack, waxed about a possible conspiracy.

"Is this an attempt by the right-wing, hate machine to silence one of our own?" he asked on the air, according to Talking Radio, a blog. "Are we threatening them? Are they afraid that we’re winning? Are they trying to silence intimidate us?"

A police source said Rhodes never filed a report and never claimed to be the victim of a mugging.

Rhodes' lawyer told the Daily News she was injured in a fall while walking her dog. He said she's not sure what happened, and only knows that she fell down and is in a lot of pain. The lawyer said Rhodes expects to be back on the air Thursday. He stressed there is no indication she was targeted or that she was the victim of a "hate crime."

I'm pretty sure I can figure out exactly what happened to Randa Rhodes that fateful night.

Randi did indeed lose a bunch of her teeth, although not to a mugging, it's much simpler than that. I'll bet River Rats left one that Rhodes went to a local drinking establishment, had a pail of oats and a bottle of Smirnoff, or whatever horses drink, left the bar after striking out for the zillionth time, was so wasted that she fell down (ten or twenty times), smashed her horse face and woke up the next day covered in puke, a saddle, while three midgets performed a root canal on her.

As for Jon Elliot, he needs to re-calibrate his tinfoil hat. It's hit such a dementedly high frequency that it's actually tuning in Air America. And everyone with a pulse knows, you can't trust the insane ramblings of those douchebags.

Another case of *fake but accurate*