Toronto Politician's Calling For Toboggan Helmet Law

Two Toronto Councillors want to make tobogganing safer by enacting a helmet law:

"I would support any helmets, any type of safety equipment that could be put on," Sandra Yeung Racco, a city councillor in Vaughan, told the National Post. "I think that it's something we need to look into and legislate.

Although less people have died from tobogganing accidents in Canada in the last 10 years than people that have died from choking on icecubes, I still fully support the good Councillors measure to legislate the hell out of this extreme sport.

To enact this law correctly, we will need to hire toboggan cops. Since there are tens of thousands of hills across Ontario, we need to hire tens of thousands of extra police. Children have had it too good for too long, they must cut out all their happiness and joviality.

We should also legislate snowball fights. If children want to have a snowball fight it should be mandatory for them to wear a helmet and protective eyewear. Do you know how many children lose an eye because of reckless, needless snowball fights every year in Canada? Three. And that's three too many as far as I'm concerned.

I have asked Fenris to open an exploratory committee to examine this problem further. I ask the Federal government to please fund this committee. What is the price of a child's eye to you? $5 million? $10 million? 3.5 billion? You know it's the right thing to do, so let's work together to end this madness.

I care. Send Fenris money.

The white powder is making Toronto Councillors crazy