Stop Harper

When will people rise up to take down this tyrant? How many young primates, animals, and plants must suffer before Quasi-Sentinent-Canadians take up their cheque books and fund an Action Group to Study Alternatives?

I am filled with outrage over the most recent grenade attack in Toronto, the city that struggles in the shadow of Mitchieville. Hand grenades are not part of the acceptable intra-village village norms of conduct. It is bad enough to see the bodies floating down the Don and Humber and Rouge Rivers: the victims of youth violence in an meanie society that does not accept them. The tragic fruit of outcast village people turning to the machete and camping hatchet to resolve conflict, rather than dialogue and mutual respect.

The thud of ka-booming grenades disturbs my sleep. Another shipment has arrived by Canada Post from Grenade Wholesalers in Alberta. When is Stephen Harper going to mention at a press conference that he is initiating funding of a Hand Grenade Registry? I want to know. And, I want to know why now.

After the massacre of August fourth, I thought that the youth groups would interest themselves in harvesting their drug and prostitution profits and renounce violence. Stephen Harper's absence at the World AIDS Telethon to cry at the videotaped performance of Jerry Lewis announcing that he was gay and had AIDS, emotionally traumatized our alienated youth and forced them to turn violent against each other. Brushing aside their tears, our Gangbangers turned to whatever medieval weapons they could buy at Canadian Tire. That was back in July, at the start of Summer Holidays. The endless weeks of heat and hammer killings, hatchet slayings, and grisly electrocutions, that was the summer of 2006 in Toronto.

Now, they have turned to Hand Grenades. How many car accidents are really caused by improper handling and storage of imported explosive devices? You may think that your neighbour's house blew up in a gas explosion, but really, it was a vengeful telemarketer with a stick grenade. The carnage will stop when the government funds start.

It is time for Stephen Harper to act.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.