Paris Hilton is Selling Her Crap

Paris Hilton is renovating her digs, and is auctioning off her furniture online:

…even Hilton’s scratched headboard and mattress are part of the sale of the top item. She says, “The bed is hers, the mattress is hers, the boxspring is hers… The bed is hot.

Some people are calling this the sale of the century. Health officials are calling this *The Chlamydia on springs, scratch yourself raw until your penis shrivels up like a hot-dog that has been lying on the sidewalk in the sweltering heat sale*. Either way, if the dust mites don’t get ya, the crabs certainly will.

Thanks to The Mitch and Famous, the second greatest site on the internets.