Are You Fat? Prepare to Meet Your Maker

Here is some news that will be published in the New England School of Medicine that will surely blow you away:

“We found that people who are overweight had a modestly increased risk of premature death,”

You could knock me over with a feather, who would have guessed it?

You know who also stands to live a shorter life due to obesity? Animals. Yup, if you have four legs and are made of meat, chances are some fat person will eventually be jamming a fork in your body and shoving your carcass into their gaping maw.

Thank the Lord for studies such as this, for if we didn't have experts studying topics such as these, we would all be walking around with our collective fat heads jammed squarely up our collective fat asses.

That's the end to this post, I had a few more good one-liners, but I'll be damned if I can remember them.

Here's the skinny on fatness