Please Don't Pee on the TTC

TORONTO - The Toronto Transit Commission (the TTC) has delayed a new advertising campaign for the creation of diversity messages, posters, and songs to be played on TTC subway stations, subway cars, streetcars, and bus depots to discourage public urination and defecation.

Since last year, the TTC has noticed a great increase in public urination with consequent rises in expense of cleaning cars, buses, stations and street cars. The TTC responded with a crackdown using the Special Constables, the transit police force, but this failed now that all of the officers involved are now off the job with pay pending mandatory racism charges laid by those who were apprehended in a variety of crimes ranging from public urination, setting fires in garbage bins, public masturbation, and throwing food.

Ontario Supreme Court Judge Vidkun Quisling ruled that those charged with crimes on TTC property were neither adequately informed of the community standard against public urination, nor were their rights to alternate cultural expressions such as public urination respected. He ordered all charges dropped, restitution to be paid, and those officers involved to be sent on diversity training courses.

In the subsequent civil suit, fifty eight individuals were awarded money, journalism scholarships, and an apology from TTC chair Moscoe. Lawyer for the offended innocents, Rosa Luxemburg, said that this was a victory for proletarians everywhere. A significant amount of money was awarded to the Jane-Finch Holocaust Denial Center, which hopes to raise five million dollars this year.

The TTC, facing a more serious problem in the rise in incidents of assault on drivers, has put its Please Don‘t Pee on the TTC campaign on hold for the moment. Militant trades unionists in the TTC have stopped collecting fares along most bus, street car, and subway routes leading to a significant shortfall in operating revenues. Transit activist Karl Liebknecht placed the blame for the situation firmly on former premier Mike Harris and called for a dollar a litre tax to fund the TTC shortfall.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.