Think Globally, Act Locally, and Demand Handouts!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Who around you is Infected?

The coughing death will come upon us quickly. They call it plague on the radio. In the morning you will get out of bed and climb into your cold work clothes. The CBC is off the air by three. By supper time, the city will be burning and the snot oozing dead lying in slippery heaps in the lobbies of office buildings. There will be fist fights over masks and respirators. Those who have a mask will live to see the next sunrise, which is your tomorrow. It is the Bird Flu, and you are going to die. Takes six hours, average. You cough yourself horse, then the dry heaves. Nobody will go near you. They ignore your crying for help. Even your mother. Everything wet about you carries the green death. Do not touch the snot that glugs out of the noses of the infected.

Are you ready, right now? The next cough you hear is the green snot plague. Look around at all the people who are going to die. Will you join them in a mass grave? Not if you have a mask, even better, surgical gloves. And the will to live, and the hard fists to back up that will to live.

Then the raccoons and the skunks will come out of the ravines to feast upon the banquet of human carrion that Mother Nature has prepared for these urban pest mammals. House pets form hunting packs ... shocking in how few days the cute dog turns into the toothy wolf. There are not enough people and too few guns to fight them off. Anyone who admits to being a liberal is beaten with rocks and left for dog food. The human survivors will gather in fortified buildings, hording food and heat, and going forth into the boneyard streets to gather more.

For a few days, anyway. Winter is coming! Yes, the harvest is not yet complete for Death. A great snowstorm will sweep in and another massacre will occur. After the plague will come the great freezing winter. Welcome to Stalingrad!

You are all Doomed.

Only one in ten of you will survive to see the Spring of 2006.

My name is Maximinus Thrax
and I am going to see the Spring.
Maybe you will
Maybe you won't

posted by The Mayor at 10:18 AM

|

Submit this post to ... StumbleUpon | Digg | del.icio.us


<< Home

Contributors

  • command economy
  • Reg
  • The Mayor
  • Fenris Badwulf
Donations To The Christian Children's Fund
  • Click HERE and see why.

Best Canadian Blog The 2007 Weblog Awards Mitchieville Kicks Ass!

Previous Posts

  • Sharon Osborne hates Madonna's guts
  • Student receives huge settlement in website free s...
  • l'OH mon, We ave urt da Fwenchs' feelings
  • Pink pistol packing packers
  • Who the hell is this?
  • Canadians have great sex lives, or so *they* say
  • Phantom time hypothesis
  • Shocking
  • Jennifer Aniston is pathetic
  • The E-Mail Time Capsule
    • Mitchieville Cabinet

    • Campaign Manager
    • Re-Educationer-Fenris Badwulf
    • House Leaders
    • Parliamentary Chef
    • Defence Minister
    • Finance Minister
    • Native Affairs
    • Munitions - Reg
    • Culture & Arts
    • Information Minister
    • Environment Minister
    • Womyn's Affairs
    • Religious Affairs
    • Senate

    • Cannuckistan Chronicles
    • Florida Cracker
    • The Leather Penguin
    • Marginalized ACTION Dinosaur
    • Mean Ol' Meanie
    • Backbenchers

    • 49th Parallel
    • Angry
    • Attu
    • Battle of Ontario
    • Blazing Cat Fur
    • Blog Quebecois
    • Catprint in the Mash
    • Dangerous Logic
    • Don Surber
    • Dr Mookie Love
    • Enig-Mac
    • Enjoy Every Sandwich
    • Grant Miller Media
    • Grouchy Old Cripple
    • Ice Princess
    • Kathy Shadle
    • Keyser Söze
    • Knowledge is Power
    • Last Of The Few
    • Limits of Respectability
    • Loganotron
    • Mean Ol' Meanie
    • Mugs
    • OMMAG
    • Proud To Be Canadian
    • Rumcorps
    • Right off The Shore
    • Samantha Burns
    • Six Meat Buffet
    • Small Dead Animals
    • Steamboat McGoo
    • Taylor & Company
    • The Digital Brownshirt
    • The Drunken Stepfather
    • The Halls of Macadamia
    • The Last Amazon
    • The Daily Bayonet
    • Wonder Woman
    • Enemies of the State

    • Commissar Suvorov
    • dmorris
    • Dmorris
    • Lisa
    • DINO
    • dmorris
    • Reg
    • dmorris
    • Fenris
    • dmorris
    • Political Prisoners

    • Jack’s Newswatch
    • Purple Tory
    • The Black Rod
    • The Trusty Tory
    • Unambiguously Ambidextrous
    • Humor

      Powered by Blogger


      Mitchieville is worth $100,000,000.00.
      and your blog isn't.


    All content property of The Mayor, unless otherwise noted. This is under a creative commons license.

    Subscribe with Bloglines

    stats count