Tom Cruise chews on some Odd Vitamins

Tom Cruise will deliver a series of four lectures on topics related to "The Modern Science of Mental Health" beginning next month. I was going to rip Tom a new one and crap all over him about this, but I see that Emily from Odd Vitamins has already beaten me to it, and she did a spankarific job.

Here are a few pieces that caught my attention:

The first lecture, set for October 15, is titled "How Psychiatry Invented Schizophrenia, and What Scientologists Can Do About It".

Schizophrenia is a very real condition. If you had actually gotten to know somebody who suffers from it or who has a family member with it, you would quickly realize that it is no invention. I can only hope that the long series of laps you'll be doing in hell for your misinformation campaign is to actually suffer some of the utterly internal trauma that a schizophrenic endures by simple fact of their brain chemistry.

The topic of the third lecture, in early November, will be "Diagnosis and Treatment of So-Called Clinical Depression with the Hubbard Mark Super VII Quantum Electropsychometer".

First of all, let me just register my official disgust at "So-Called Clinical Depression". It's very real. If you don't believe me, Tom, just think back to those recent childhood photos that made the press of you dressing up in your mother's clothes and makeup for Halloween. Who were you going as? Fairy Poppins? How many Xanax was your mother taking that night?

What Emily is doing here is what is officially known as a "smackdown". I didn't post my favourite part of Emily's troll beating because sometimes it's better to view things first hand. Let's just say you will be seeing the words *gay porn*.

Off you go, meet me back here in an hour.