Why Canada is Safe

Why Canada is safe from terrorist attack.

The good stewardship of The Liberal Party makes Canada a safe haven in these times of anger and war. These are points from a policy meeting at the Chamberlain Institute for International Political Policy here in Toronto, given by Norwegian delegate Vidkun Quisling this last week…

There are no terrorists in Canada. Canada has the strictest and highest standards of border control that will not allow any criminal or terrorist minded person from entering the country, let alone becoming a citizen. Over twenty five percent of citizenship candidates ordered deported are actually deported in this model system. Those miscreants who disturb our peace are shipped away by our determined and fair legal system. There are no illegal aliens living in Canada. In Canada, we live in peace and harmony, where all viewpoints are respected and all voices are heard.

Terrorists like Canada. Our governments bold stand against American imperialism sends a strong signal to the angry people overseas that Canada does not agree with pushy American foreign policy. So these freedom fighters realize that any widespread attacks on Canada will not do them any good. Our flag acts as a shield against flying shrapnel and bullets. Canada’s bold stand on same sex marriage, easy and cheap access to abortion, and freedom of advertising, has won much respect in our Muslim communities across our diverse cultural mosaic.

Canada has no armed forces. This is a strong gesture that shows that Canada is a caring country, committed to dialogue and understanding. Terrorists realize that debate and reason are the means to solve differences, unlike the forces of Imperial America which shoots first and is mean to children and plants.

There will never be a terrorist attack in Canada. So we should completely disband our remnant armed forces, cut our police forces in half, and raise gasoline taxes so we can spend more money on fighting Global Warming in Africa. Better yet, we should give Canadian citizenship en masse to the oppressed peoples of Palestine so that they have some sort of support in these dark times. It will only take a few months to fly them over here to the welcome they deserve in Toronto. We can find room for them easily.

Vidkun Quisling spoke this.