Taking the O out of Country

The are only two types of music I hate, country and western. Remember that joke, what do you get when you play a county song backwards? You get your car back, you get your dog back and you get your wife back. Country music is an aquired taste, like caviar, and I hate caviar too. Two things I do like about country music though are the women and the song titles. Women that like country music are generally depressing drunks, and I dig that. I know that's a generalization, but it's a pretty fair generalization. Why would anyone want to listen to music that drones on about how some asshole left them and now their tears are flowing like the drip of a Haitian hookers vagina? I ask you, why?

The second and last thing I like about country music are the titles of the songs. Some of them are downright hilarious. I suppose you have to have a good sense of humour if you like country music. Eventually it must get so depressing listening to the music that you may as well have some fun with the titles. Whatever gets you through the night, my little rosebud.

Some of my fave titles include:

Don't Chop Any Wood Mother, I'm Comin' in With a Load.
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine

And my personal favorite?

I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2.

Country Song Titles has an extensive list of country titles. Give 'em a visit, tell 'em Billy Ray Bob Cletus Ray Bob Junior sent ya.