20 minutes at Zellers

Haggered clerk: How can I help you?

Me: I'd like to return these socks.

Haggered clerk: Is there anything wrong with them?

Me: Other than they're ladies socks, no, they're fine.

Haggered clerk: Well, we don't accept returns unless there's something wrong with the product.

Me: There is something wrong with the product, they're ladies socks, I'm a guy.

Haggered clerk:

Me:

Haggered clerk: Would you like to see a manager?.

Me: Just give me my $3 for fuck sakes.

Haggered clerk: Security to Returns, code red