Why Lord, Why?

Me: Why oh sweet Lord is it so fucking cold out?, it's like minus 72.

Lord: Suck it up, you're Canadian.

Me: Why Lord must thy make the Nothern winds blow so cold that it makes my penis an innie and not an outie?

Lord: You're Canadian, suck it up.

Me: Oh heavenly god, maker of the universe, why hast thou given us only 7 minutes of daylight in the winter?

Lord: What's with all the fucking questions, don't you have some porn to watch?