Tips to help You stop smoking
Recently I quit smoking. I was a pack a day smoker for about 25 years or so. I loved smoking so much that sometimes I'd eat the fucking things. If I could have smoked in the shower I would have. I always thought that people gave up smoking because they had no willpower. Then one day I woke up, went to the washroom and choked up a lung, came back out into my living room and decided that's it, no more smokie.
Was it hard? Fuck yes, damn near impossible, but I found certain little things helped. If you're trying to quit, here are a couple pieces of advice I'd like to share with you in order to ease your pain.
Firstly, eat Cheetos. You'll find that Cheetos make your fingers orange, just like real smokers fingers. It's soothing to look down at your digits and see orange, tobacco stained, smelly fingers. You'll trick yourself into believing that you never quit.
Next, if you walk by someone who just had a smoke, it's o.k to smell them. This is a bit tricky though. Living in an age of predators, you have to be real careful who you start sniffing. Smell the elderly, they don't fight back much, don't try some behemoth though or likely he'll pound the shit out of you. All the explaining in the world won't talk you out of a solid thumping.
Kicking animals is justified. Make a game out of it even. Start with cats, they really don't matter anyway. Get a good tailwind behind you and punt a cat for distance. The next time you have a craving, punt another cat and try to better you're last try. Not only does this relieve stress caused by smoking, but it will get you into game shape in no time.
Lastly, lay off the porn for awhile. This might be harder for alot of you than actually quitting smoking itself, but trust me, it's a game breaker. You see, after pleasuring yourself, the best thing to do is sit around in your gotchies and have a butt. That was my fave part of jerking myself silly, the fact that after I'm finished I'm going to smoke like a demon. Take away the craving and you're well on your way, that's old school baby.
I hope this helps, it helped me a bundle, now all I have to do is kick my opium and booze addictions and I'm off to the races.
Was it hard? Fuck yes, damn near impossible, but I found certain little things helped. If you're trying to quit, here are a couple pieces of advice I'd like to share with you in order to ease your pain.
Firstly, eat Cheetos. You'll find that Cheetos make your fingers orange, just like real smokers fingers. It's soothing to look down at your digits and see orange, tobacco stained, smelly fingers. You'll trick yourself into believing that you never quit.
Next, if you walk by someone who just had a smoke, it's o.k to smell them. This is a bit tricky though. Living in an age of predators, you have to be real careful who you start sniffing. Smell the elderly, they don't fight back much, don't try some behemoth though or likely he'll pound the shit out of you. All the explaining in the world won't talk you out of a solid thumping.
Kicking animals is justified. Make a game out of it even. Start with cats, they really don't matter anyway. Get a good tailwind behind you and punt a cat for distance. The next time you have a craving, punt another cat and try to better you're last try. Not only does this relieve stress caused by smoking, but it will get you into game shape in no time.
Lastly, lay off the porn for awhile. This might be harder for alot of you than actually quitting smoking itself, but trust me, it's a game breaker. You see, after pleasuring yourself, the best thing to do is sit around in your gotchies and have a butt. That was my fave part of jerking myself silly, the fact that after I'm finished I'm going to smoke like a demon. Take away the craving and you're well on your way, that's old school baby.
I hope this helps, it helped me a bundle, now all I have to do is kick my opium and booze addictions and I'm off to the races.
posted by The Mayor at 10:01 AM
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