Timbitten By The Man

In the biggest Canadian story ever, Nicole Lilliman of London Ontario, was fired by Tim Horton's yesterday for giving a baby a Timbit:

A single mother of four fired yesterday for giving a Timbit to a baby has been rehired by Tim Hortons.

Nicole Lilliman, canned for offering a free blob of dough to the child of a regular customer earlier this week, has been offered a job at another store by the company.

"I'm going to feel awkward, but I'm happy I have a job again," said Lilliman. "Yesterday, was hell. When I told my daughter I lost my job she started crying. She's only six, and she doesn't know, she said 'we won't have any food any more.'"

For those of you not in the know, a Timbit is like a donut hole. It's just a blob of dough dressed up with sugary goodness. Also keep in mind that Tim Horton's has a policy that if anyone using the drive through has a dog with them, the dog automatically gets one free Timbit. As for babies? Fuck them.

Tim Horton's has a zero policy of allowing free food to its customers. Even though a Timbit is worth exactly 16 cents, the rules are what they are. I'm with management on this one, behaviour like this cannot and should not be allowed to continue, it sets a bad precedence.

Put it this way: It always starts out with just a tiny little Timbit, but if these giveaways aren't immediately stopped, it leads to employees giving away larger items like Canadian Maple Donuts. From there the scones are freely dispensed, followed by cookies. Before you know it, the employees are dishing out bagels like there's no tomorrow. After the bagel, inevitably comes the French Vanilla cappuccino which always leads the breakfast sandwiches being dispensed willy-nilly.

I say no!!! At the rate which I'm explaining to you, all that is left at the end are a bunch of well fed fat bastards and a till that's full of nothing but loneliness and the tears of the under-paid management. And quite frankly, I will not live in a world like that.

Nicole Lilliman, you are the devil and you got exactly what you deserved. You are a rabble-rouser and a trouble maker and I'm glad The Man put a stop to your outrageous shenanigans.

Timbitch

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