What I Learned This Past Week

Everyone’s favorite Toronto based left wing newspaper started a new feature a little while back in their weekly Sunday Star edition titled 10 things we learned this week, which is an idea that IMHO was shamelessly pilfered from the BBC’s annual ‘100 Things’ series . I’m not sure if this article is supposed to be educational or humorous but the third item on this weeks list could have helped when I was in college. The article got me thinking, what is the one thing I learned this past week. Then it came to me – Randy ‘Macho Man’ Savage.

Last week at work a few of us were making jokes about the upcoming WWE event in Kingston next month. This got us talking about the days of our misspent youth watching WWF wrestling. All the great names came out: Hulk Hogan, Koko B Ware, Rowdy Roddy Piper, The Ultimate Warrior and of course Macho Man Savage. This lead me to remember Miss Elizabeth – Macho Man’s sidekick and pro wrestling’s first ring-side babe.

I had it bad for Miss Elizabeth . Unlike today’s wrestling tramps and their XXX trash Miss Elizabeth was classy yet she had that pretty country girl charm that melted this country boy’s heart. Given the chance I would have done the unskinny bop with her in a heartbeat. Wondering aloud to my co-workers “whatever happened to Miss Elizabeth" I Googled her name. You know what I found out about Miss Elizabeth? She’s freaking dead! Sweet as apple pie Miss Elizabeth overdosed in 2001. Yet again one of the idyllic memories of my youth has been shattered on the cruel shores of reality.


So what did I learn this week? Miss Elizabeth was a two-timing drug-popping booze-swilling hussy and that Google sucks for ruining my day. That folks is what I learned this past week. I’ll be back with another earth shattering nugget of my newly learned wisdom next week and promise we’ll have nothin but a good time!


Posted by Reg who can sing ‘Every Rose Has Its Thorn’ from memory and has no explanation for the Poison references in this post.