Global Warming is Caused By You--Possibly

A long awaited report on global warming has come to some very conclusive results:

A long-awaited report says global warming is "very likely" man-made, the most powerful language ever used on the issue by the world's leading climate scientists, delegates who have seen the report said Thursday.

While stopping short of using the word *undeniable*, "very likely* is alot closer to *unquestionable*.

How does this report stack up to the report made in 2001?

That phrase is an escalation from the panel's last report in 2001, which said warming was "likely" caused by human activity.

In 2001, global warming was nowhere near as proven as it is today. Global warming was simply *credible*, very close to *supposable*, many might even say it teetered on *inferable*, but now, as we see, it is most definitely "very likely*.

Before the report was released, the scientists thought about using even stronger language in the report, but pulled back at the last minute:

There had been speculation that the participants might try to up the ante too "virtually certain" man causes global warming.

That would have stopped just short of *incontrovertible* and *guaranteed*, yet heavier worded than *very likely* and *plausible*. Still though, it's a lot stronger than *likely* and *supposable*, while making words like *who the hell knows?* and *fuck me if we can actually make a decision* seem like Girl Scout talk.

Turn up the global warming, it's freezing in here