Lunch Called on Account of Streaker

Lunch at an Ohio High School was disrupted Monday after a greased-up, naked student ran through the school flailing his arms and acting like a maniac:

Taylor Killian, 18, had rubbed his body with grapeseed oil to keep from being caught, and got up after the first time he was shocked to continue running toward a group of frightened students huddled in a corner at Westerville North High School, Lt. Jeff Gaylor said.

Frightened and huddled in a corner? What the hell did these people think a naked guy was going to attack them with? Oh, right, I got ya.

Police said that an administrator ordered Killian to stop, but that the student made a sexual gesture and kept running.

What kind of sexual gesture could a naked guy possibly make? Oh, right, I got ya.

School officials reported that Killian was a good student, Gaylor said. There was no indication of substance abuse or a medical problem.

A good student? Any kid that streaks in his own school and isn't high or drunk, takes a tazer and keeps on streaking, frightens fellow student with his, shall we say, *manliness*, and then makes a sexual gesture towards a school administrator isn't a good student. He's a GREAT student.

I would bow down before him, but I'd have to insist he put some pants on first.