Lets make Money! with Fenris Badwulf.

The Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence is proud to announce the creation of Global Warming Laboratories on the leafy, bio-dioverse campus of our Ivy League class indoctrination institution. Global Warming Laboratories is fully funded by the federal government in Ottawa and is completely unaccountable to them. I talked to Doctor Drake Mallard, the leading researcher into the effects of food on Global Warming.

Doctor Drake Mallard is a handsome man, standing some six feet tall. He carries himself well, as does anyone who has attended the Canadian Ballet School for eight years. His office is located in the South West corner of the Goebbels building, facing the Gift Shop and the Faculty Bar and Grill. His eyes are a striking steel grey, flecked with green.

Using the latest advances in Global Warming Science, Doctor Drake Mallard has developed the Instant Diet Pill. This miracle compound, made from inert natural substances found only in lawn clippings and cedar tree bark, acts like a reverse biased Zener Diode, but for your metabolism. For a three hour period after you take the pill, your calorie intake is limited to 350 calories. Amazing! You can eat all your favorite foods but not put on a tablespoon of fat onto your hips, belly, or neck.

Interested in making money from this? Send me a hundred dollars for your free, no obligation marketing kit. Each kit comes with five Instant Diet Pills, so you can test them on friends or family, at no risk to yourself. Once you get your kit, whip up this receipe ... and enjoy the taste of food again! Thanks to Global Warming Laboratories, you will never be fat again, and you will live in a world free of Global Warming! Mmmmmmm.

Authentic Diet Perogies

Perogies, 2kg bag
Sour creme, 1 tub
Bacon, 1 kg
Butter, 1 brick
Chives, handful

In a large, deep frying pan, melt half the butter and then fry up all the bacon. Into the bubbling, gurgling hot fat, pitch the perogies. Turn down the heat and cover until cooked to taste. Shovel out the perogies and bacon into a plate and cover with sour creme, chives, and whatever else. Some people from Kharkov like to add a few tablespoons of icing sugar, and then there are people from Thunder Bay who just pour on maple syrup. Do what you like.

Calories: 350.

Doctor Drake Mallard is waiting to take your call. Have your credit cards ready.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.