Childrens letters to the Snake God Set.

Instead of supporting the racist heteronormative Christian agenda of Santa Claus, some children are identifying with a more politically correct, multi-cultural diety: The Snake God, Set. Here are some letters written to Set in the spirit of the Holiday Season.

Dear Snake God Set: My name is Melissa and I am seven years old. For Christmas I want to do well in school.

Your wish is my command, Melissa! Never again will you have to fear failure in school! Thanks to social promotion, nobody will ever fail again! I promise you that you will receive your high school diploma! As my way of saying thank you, let me offer you a scholarship to the University of Toronto to study Journalism!

Dear Snake God Set: My name is Jackson and I am in grade two. My math teacher says that Global Warming is going to destroy the planet. I have fun in class writing letters and making posters about Global Warming. I hate math. If Global Warming goes away, I will have to do math again. Please, Snake God, please make Global Warming not destroy the planet, even if I have to do math in math class again.

Your wish is mny command, Jackson! Global Warming will never destroy the planet! And, it will always be around so that you can continue to do crafts and write poetry in math class! I promise!


Dear Snake God Set: I don't really believe that you are real, Set. My name is Lynxia and I am fifteen years old. All the other girls are wearing goth clothes and making out with boyfriends. Please make my parents see reason and give me money so that I can dress goth, smoke, and drink.

Your wish is my command, Lynxia! Henceforth, you can wear goth clothes (corsets, bustiers, latex corsets, latex bustiers, leather corsets, and leather bustiers) anytime you travel to the Fenris Badwulf studios on Toronto's Queen street west. You will be paid lavishly for photography work, dressed in a wide range of goth clothing items for the discerning tastes of the internet sophisticate. With your cash wages, and thanks to Toronto's 'no arrests, no crime' policy, you can tank up on whiskey and smokes.

This public service announcement brought to you by Fenris Badwulf, because I care about the public good. And I treat the public purse as if it was my own, too.