Mitchieville Municipal Election Results

Today, the people of Mitchieville turned their artillery loaded backs on democracy in favour of unbridled consumption and self interest. Each and every voter - which includes all Mitchievillians because the Mayor passed a motion early in his reign making voting mandatory for all women, children, dead people and non-heteronomative males - took time out from their tofurkey to cast a blank ballot. Yes, all 200 polling booths report blank ballots. Who shall rule the city? Should the ballot booth guards be subject to a trial for using a giant eraser to obliterate the people's choice? I've always wondered why sharpies were not provided to eligible voters instead of pencils. Now I know why. It's too permanent.

Either way, the people have spoken, but they cannot be trusted to vote in favour of themselves or some other such non-entity not indicated on the ballot. Let the elections proceed once again!! We have not done enough to persuade the people of their public duty to promote rule by special interest and collective happiness. Let the blisters begin in earnest.

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