State Religion, get one.

Religious freedom demands the inclusion of those members of society who are employees of the state and who participate in a mind power cult. We need look no further than our racist past, which we acknowledge and seek to overcome, to find positive non-christian models. Mitchieville needs to have its municipal bureaucracy staffed with officials who are all under the influence of some charismatic speaker. This will the save the town money. Their leader will be un-elected, on the government payroll, and granted police powers, for a start, to get things going. Of course, as a matter of compromise in order to find common ground, I am willing to accept the leadership of the Mind Power Cult for the good of the people.

What is in it for you. These fanatics will perform the services required with economy and reptilian charm, all the while advancing some horrible agenda under the control of a shadowy evil genius. The streets shall be free of potholes, the homeless housed, and youth gang members in school! This is a fair exchange for turning the other eye over the use of radioactive asbestos pothole filler, wholesale sacrifice of indigents to supply spare human organs, and the use of pacifier brain chips.

Have my opponents opened dialogue with local cult leaders to explore the conversion of our municipal bureaucracy into a mind power colony? Who speaks for cults? Is their voice being heard? Does Mitch embrace their diversity? Does Lisa listen patiently to their detailed psychobabble? The answer in most cases points to the suggestion that yes, Fenris Badwulf should be the next Mayor of Mitchieville.

My policy will be to equip Mitchieville with a modern state religion. I promise full openness in the selection process. I promise the the full resources of the city with be used in the implementation of this solution. Disclosure will be full until a decision is made, then silent efficiency. Temples will rise. Choruses will sing under the shadows of strange pagan statuary. Incense will fill the air with refreshing fragrance. The People will cheer in the Colosseum. And there will be no lack of spare parts for life extension. Mitchievillians will live well, live longer under Fenris Badwulf. There will be jobs for artists galore: sellers of love potions, painters of canvas, plasterers of wood, and carvers of stone will all share in the orgy of spending. Support Fenris Badwulf and get your handfull of coins from the public trough!

To those artists out there, I say this: Aren't you tired of eating Kraft Dinner? Look into my eyes when I say this. Time to sell out your values and buy into a steak and baked potato lifestyle. Why whore for what you believe in when you can whore for a whole lot more? You know who you are. You are weary after a long day of door knocking for some low calorie peddlar of the high vegetarian cult. They give you Listerene to drink when you could be gurgling Whiskey. Did they massage your feet when you returned from your labor? Did they give you even a bowl of steaming mush? How about a blow job from one of the cult minons? Maybe you should change sides to Team Fenris. I care.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care. I care alot.