Campaign Notebook

While Fenris spent the weekend behind his computer screen making promises to the people of Mitchieville that he has no intention of keeping, I was busy working so the government does not run out of tax revenue to provide free food and housing to the poor. If the government relied on donations like Fenris, the government would crumble and all of the victims would have to get jobs.

I am shocked and appalled at the fallacious allegations Fenris has cooked up regarding my campaign. As those in the know know, Nathaniel Branden and Alan Greenspan are active supporters of my campaign for mayor of Mitchieville. Fenris is just jealous because so far his only supporters are soup kitchen patrons, humane shelter volunteers and London squirrels.

The real story behind the missing member of my circle is best left untold although I will tell it to you anyway. As I was busy generating taxpayer revenue, I entrusted one of the members of the inner circle with the important task of door knocking. Well, it so happened that this entrusted supporter accidentally swallowed a whole bottle of Listerine while brushing his teeth in preparation for his outing. As a consequence, he forgot his stategic map and ended up knocking on the door of the current mayor of Mitchieville. He was utterly shocked when the Mayor answered the door holding three big macs and two milk shakes. My god! Think of the burden on the public health care system!

'Course, the mayor promises to ban transfats from Mitchieville, yet he supports MacDonalds with the hard earned dollars of Mitchievillians. The Mayor might be an even bigger hypocrite than Bono. Now, when the Mayor realized that he had been caught by the enemy, he became very worried that the story of his indulgences might reach the ears of the electorate and hence hurt his chances of re-election. So, 24 hours later, a black car pulled up in front of my man's house and he has not been seen since. His dog, 12 birds, 6 cats and 45 ferrets have also disappeared. A reliable spy has also reported an increase in meat servings at the Fenris household. Is there a connection here?

Vote for change. Vote Lisa for mayor of Mitchieville on December 25th. I am a woman. That's reason enough.

I, Lisa, multicultural resident of London and Mitchieville and founding member of *BITCH* wrote this. I promise to post more pictures of hunky males if elected. Send Basil your money. He cares more than Fenris.