Dufferin Mall Update

Wise readers of Mitchieville are following the progress of construction at Toronto's Dufferin Mall, located just south of Bloor. Here, activist bureaucrats have ignored illegal orders from their unjust Conservative 'ministers' to shut down a pro-diversity program that encouraged investment from any country but the evil United States of America. The Mall is being renovated thanks to a generous forgivable loan from the Canadian government to our friends, the North Koreans.

Construction is nearing completion upon underground laboratory facilities as well as a barracks and heavy equipment machine shop. This week, general contractor Ellis Don, in co-operation with SPECTRE engineering and North Korean liason Chang Sui 'Oddjob' Lee, began the installation of a self-destruct system through out the mall. In keeping with our activist agenda, our friends the North Koreans have been invited to follow their own building codes as well as bringing over some seventy five workers (all of whom have been given Canadian citizenship) to work at the facility.

The self-destruct system, common place in North Korean medical research facilities where genetic recombination work is celebrated, features extensive use of claymore mines build into the ceiling. As well, the sprinkler system has been modified to run in two modes: regular fire fighting mode where water is used, and emergency mode, where kerosene is used instead. Laboratory commander Doctor Julius Noh is confident that such measures will keep the public safe. A detachment of the Cho Chop Ding, the North Korean People's security service, will provide on site security as well as customer service functions for selected retailers. Tunnels and quiet elevators installed throughout the mall will facilitate the speedy movement of civilian volunteers to and from the free medical clinic located adjacent to Doctor Noh's genetics lab on the third level.

Co-operation agreements have been signed with the Children's Aid society and the lab for free health care. Numerous merchants are pleased at the prospect of additional security, as well as a ten thousand dollar bounty for apprehended shoplifters. The mall has been plagued by vagrants and youth gangs, but after the arrival of Doctor Noh, such impediments to large corporate activities have made a substantial decrease. Thievery at clothing stores is way down, thanks to the sensitive, caring approach of the North Korean security staff. The No-Frills on site is running its third week of specials on pork products, and the second hand clothing store is once again Toronto's best place for previously loved finery.

Of course, none of this has been brought to the attention of the Harper government, because they stole the election and are not recognized by activist bureaucrats. The real government of Canada is the Liberal Party.

Do check out the Dufferin Mall, especially around the back this Thursday evening, when the general contractor celebrates labor-management relations with the traditional whiskey and prostitutes end of the work week festivities.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. Hat tip to the Evil Apprentice.